whatareyouthinking

A group of dogs that occupied a farm often discussed just how different things were back in the old dog years.  Some of them barked out a dismal view of the farm, claiming a general decline of their honorable canine heritage.  In fact, the Bulldogs and Pointers, along with several others reminisced about how wonderful life on the farm once was; how all dogs shared their toys and treats, mated for life, and obeyed their master.  It was the carefree attitudes they perceived of this generation’s pups that led to their bones of contention.  The Pointers blamed the young for the thunderstorms that were coming upon the farm and the influx of predators.  They even blamed them for the Terriers’ activity.

Now the Terriers fervently disagreed and scratched the notion that dog life was running down hill.  In fact, they contested that overall dog life had improved.  They cried out for the mixed breeds, and how they were finally getting adopted into loving homes the same as the purebreds; how dogs and cats were now able to live on the same farm without trying to harm each other.  They dug up things that their opponents thought to be buried in the past, filling their good old days with bad dogs and all sorts of sons of bitches.

Still other dogs thought these conversations to be quite silly.  They saw many of these correlations to be far fetched—involving factors reaching beyond their level of understanding and realm of control.  In every generation, they sniffed various ideals that had grown worse as others were made better.  It seemed as though the Bulldogs, Pointers, Terriers and their followers only said what their packs’ itching ears wanted to hear.  But these dogs sensed their master was in complete control of the dog farm; attempting to figure it all out themselves would be like chasing their tails.

A colorblind father would often tell his housebound son that green was the color of the sunset.  Years passed, and the boy did not consider any other possibilities. 

Gradually, the boy’s health improved to the point where he could go outside and see the sunset himself.  As he watched the event for the very first time, he stood in awe of the landscape’s beauty as the sun seemingly sank below the earth’s surface.  However, throughout the course of the sunset, the boy couldn’t help but notice the sun and the sky’s deep red appearance.  This did not coincide with the green sunset his father had frequently spoke of. 

For a time the boy entertained the notion that the sunset may indeed be red (contrary to the description he held for many years).  Such pondering yielded him no minor distress and unearthed a myriad of other questions.  Was his dad just lying to him the entire time?  Was his father unable to see the sun as it truly was?  Was the boy’s own vision of the sun distorted?  Did the boy and his dad have valid reasons for seeing the sunset so differently? 

One day the boy finally conceded.  He decided that the sunset was green after all (though thoughts of red suns and skylines still intrigued him on occasion).  Nevertheless, even if red was the accurate description, green was still the more comfortable view.   

A man spent several years of his life saving to buy a monkey.  After buying the monkey and testing it out, he decided that what he really wanted was a bear.  He found that he could trade in the monkey, so it wouldn’t take him quite as long to get the bear as it did [to get] the monkey.  A few years later, he finally had enough to buy the bear.  Later, he couldn’t find a place for the monkey or the bear and couldn’t use them, so he exchanged them and settled for a dog.  Now he’s thinking that perhaps some day in the future he may even get a cat, but the dog is good enough for right now. 

There once was an amphibian fed up with being surrounded by water and he decided to leave his wet past behind to live on dry land. Of course, this too wearied him until he decided that it was a mistake to have left the water. Yet after sometime, he remembered why he had left the water to begin with and once again landed himself on dry land.

It came to pass that his entire life was spent hopping from wetlands to dry lands and back again while never understanding the value of having both.

There were some young men who grew up in poor families on old farms in a small town.  As a result, their access to fashion trends was extremely limited.  For the most part, the people in that old town had only known overalls.

One day while the young men were in town considering new pairs of overalls for themsleves, they happened upon a traveling peddler that introduced them to designer clothing.  The myriad shapes and colors that these new clothes had to offer overwhelmed them as they pondered what they had been missing all their lives.  So they took a large portion of the money they had allotted for such things and purchased the garments of the colors that appealed to them most.  They proudly displayed their new attire everywhere they went.  Some of the other townspeople saw the beauty of these new outfits themselves and decided to follow suit.

They began to exclaim how wonderful it would be if everyone in the town would wear colors just as they did!  At first they thought of how drab the overall clad people’s lives seemed and desired to introduce them to a brighter way of life.  However, they gradually began to look down upon the overall townspeople and criticized them for their choice of attire.  Some of the residents resented them and refused to ditch their overalls so to not be associated with such mockers.  Eventually, those who preferred the red clothes began to consider their own choice of colors best.  It also happened with those who chose the yellow clothes, the green clothes, the blue clothes, and the same with all the others.
 
Now the children of those that preferred red associate mainly with others that prefer red, the yellow with the yellow, the green with the green, the blue with the blue, and the same with the others.  The color groups often think of themselves as the true colors while maintaining a rather dim view of the others.  They are known to put each other in a bad light, and allign only when discussing how the overall-clad citizens should start wearing color. 

And in despite of it all, more color groups continue to be added to this day.

A woman began to display some symptoms of mental illness, so her family urged her to see a psychiatrist. Upon her first visit, the therapist provided a diagnosis and prescribed her a pill to help alleviate some of her problems. They had a follow-up visit two weeks later and the doctor inquired about the effectiveness of the medication. She said, “This pill hasn’t done anything for me at all. Fortunately, people at my job and family have been much nicer to me lately so I won’t be needing it anymore.”

A boy said to his friend, “My father told me to always use this instruction book that he gave me for all of life’s decisions. He gradually put the book together as my older brother and sister were growing up. All the advice he gave them throughout the years was written in this book and has been passed on to me. I am to consider the entire book prior to making any major moves. He told me that if I want to be successful like my brother and sister, I must never deviate from the book.”

His friend replied, “That’s really interesting, but what did your brother and sister do before the book was completed?”

The planning board got together to discuss whether or not more handicapped parking spaces should be reserved for the courthouse patrons.  The members were divided.  Half of them insisted that there was a potential for more handicapped persons to be at the court house than there were parking spots to accomodate them.  The other half thought that to be such a rare occurrence and that it not be prudent to make most of the best parking spots unavailable to the general public.  Then one member of the board spoke up and said, “I believe that we should go out of our way to assist those less fortunate then ourselves.  In fact, I propose that we make even more parking places reserved solely for the physically challenged.  But instead of reserving the front spaces for them, we should move them all to the back of the parking lot…”

(We are all humanitarians when it is convenient)

There was a book laying in the middle of a fork in the road and many people passed it by. Some stopped to ponder what it might be and continued on their journey; either to the right or to the left. One paged through the book and said, “This is a book of rules. I will isolate certain portions and quote them as laws. I will attempt to follow some of them and demand that others heed to most of them.” Another leafed through the book and said, “This book is full of divine promises and motivational quotes. I will segment a few of the passages and recite them whenever my friends and I are feeling down. I may even print or engrave them on everyday objects and sell them at a profit!” Yet another saw the same book and said, “This is a book full of magic spells! I will select a few of the sayings, and if I repeat them aloud enough times; I shall be healthy, wealthy and wise.” An educated man happened upon the book and said, “They are all fools!” So he argued about the contents and authorship of the book with his colleagues for many decades. Finally, there was one who approached the book with awe and wonder. He stopped to read the book and marveled at the path it took him.

One evening, a man purchased a TV set from an electronics store. Less than 5 minutes after removing it from the box, the television ceased to function. Immediately, he called the shop’s help desk to alert them of the problem and determine whether or not there was still enough time left to exchange the set that same night.

He began to explain his situation to the representative, “…I had set the TV on the stand, plugged it in, and seconds after I pressed the power button, the picture disappeared and smoke poured out from the cabinet.

The representative responded with, “Have you tried changing the channel?”