whatareyouthinking

To me, much of the self-help material and life changing formulas appear as a product of one who found success through the usual trial and error, then looked back on his life and recalled the events in a most orderly, idealistic fashion. The guru’s product then walks the subscriber through a series of logical steps not likely taken by the author himself. Imagine Columbus, after landing in America, claimed that to have been his plan all along. After his return, he could indeed provide useful information on how to get there, but a step-by-step guide would not accurately detail his initial journey.

One may argue, “But we can learn from another’s experience. Self-help materials are available so others can avoid the same pitfalls the writer had to face.” To this I agree.  Still, those who follow such formulas will run into their own pitfalls, snags that even the author had not considered. It doesn’t mean the adherent necessarily followed the formula incorrectly, but met his own set of stumbling blocks–as all do. Here, the point is simply that the success itself generally predates the steps that allegedly lead to it.

One night a boy overheard his parents argue over a pizza they had delivered.  His dad requested half pepperoni and half mushroom just as his mom suggested, but the pizzeria put both toppings on the same side.  Now his dad doesn’t like pepperoni, his mom doesn’t like mushrooms, and neither of them like plain pizza.

Thinking this would settle the dispute, the boy sneaked into the kitchen and began picking the pepperoni from one half of the pizza and placing them on the other.  But when his parents came into the room and saw him with their pizza, they scolded him and sent him to his room.  Eventually, they kicked him out of the house.

Tripp’s wife left the party for a moment to use the restroom.  Unbeknownst to her, she seated herself on a faulty toilet.  A crack was stemming from the base to the bowl and Tripp’s wife was no small woman.  Shortly thereafter, the toilet split and consequently pulled Tripp’s wife into an uncomfortable mess.  Fortunately, a well-prepared party guest was able to provide her with a quick change of clothes.

Once Tripp’s wife was all cleaned up and as good as new, she announced, “Toilets are bad.  I will not be using them anymore.”

Tripp had been wanting to move South for a long time and often tried to convince his family how much better such a move would be for all of them.  One weekend, he piled everyone in the car for a road trip.  After several hours of travel, Tripp’s family reached the exit for their future home town. 

Being unfamiliar with the territory, Tripp accidentally found himself in the right lane as he was nearing the end of the exit ramp.  He actually needed to make a left-hand turn.  So Tripp activated his left turn signal and surveyed the traffic situation behind him.  Someone slowed down their vehicle and waved to Tripp, motioning for him to enter the left lane. 

Tripp cheerfully accepted the offer as he announced to his family, “See, people are much nicer here.” 

In his early years, Tripp spent some time at his Grandparent’s house.  One day, all of his hard playing caused him to grow hungry long before his Grandmother was ready to start dinner.  So Tripp asked her for something to eat and she agreed to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Then she handed him the sandwich, saying, “Tripp, now you must not have too many of these because they will cause your brain to rot.”

A few years later, Tripp was frequently making his own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  His mother saw this and thought things would go well for Tripp should he not eat so many of them.  So she approached Tripp and said, “You must not eat so many of those sandwiches because they will cause your brain to rot.”  In those days, Tripp was willing to part with a few brain cells and continued to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as often as he wished.  Eventually, Tripp would hear this same wisdom from many of his family members.

Later in life, Tripp began experiencing some memory problems so he went to the doctor to see if he could get some help.  Tripp said to his doctor, “I seem to be experiencing some memory problems.  Now I have significantly cut down on my peanut butter and jelly consumption.  What else do you think could be causing this problem?”

Tripp knew he had a lot of housework to complete.  He looked around at the overwhelming mess surrounding him.  The kitchen, the living room, the bathroom—all were in complete disarray. 

Not knowing where to start, he sat down at his computer and decided to write a book about how he planned to go about doing it.

Some think there are only two in the world—us and them.  Some try to beat the system, as if the system was something to be conquered.  Nevertheless, the present system is comprised of all who have used the system or beat the system in their own way of dealing with the system.  Therefore the system is nothing more than the sum of all of its contributors.  It is not the system that we are generally attempting to beat, or even brag about beating, but rather it is our entry into the system through unconventional means.

Once we are in the system, we may wittingly or unwittingly modify the system for the good or perpetuate what we hated about the system in the first place.  We may even learn something from the system, perhaps even the necessity of some of the system’s attributes—even the things we may not have liked before.  A higher level of understanding about the system.

Still, we may be persuaded by the system.  Persuaded to do what we don’t like to do even though we know in our hearts that it is not the thing to do.  At this point we are no longer modifiers or contributors to the system, but programs produced by the system.

Tripp was in a hospital room recovering from bunion surgery.  The man in the bed next to Tripp—who occupied the second bed—was suffering from a serious illness. 

A doctor was appointed to deliver some bad news to the man in the second bed, but he was very tired and confused from working many hours.   Therefore, the doctor accidentally spilled the beans to Tripp, saying, “Sir, I am sorry that I have to tell you this…but you have only two months left to live.” 

Tripp was stricken with grief about this news and went home from the hospital very sad.  Two months, two weeks, and two days later, Tripp was nearly dead when the phone rang in his home.  His wife answered solemnly but—after talking to the doctor—immediately leaped for joy. 

The priest who was by Tripp’s side asked his wife what the call was about.  She explained how the doctor had given the bad news to the wrong patient.  It wasn’t Tripp who was supposed to get the bad news—it was for the man next to him!  Tripp was going to be okay after all!

The doctor’s next call was to the man who had been in the bed next to Tripp—the patient suffering from the serious illness.  The doctor told him the news that he had initially given Tripp by accident. 

And about two months later, he died. 
 

Tripp and his wife were sitting on a bench at a local park.  His wife asked him to hold her purse while she went to use the rest room

“Can’t you just take it with you?”  Tripp questioned.  “If someone sees me sitting here with a purse, they might think it belongs to me!”

“No, I never take my purse to the Ladies Room,” his wife responded.  “But here, I will cover it for you so no one will see it.”  Then she took off her bright pink flowered sweatshirt and placed it over the purse. 

Tripp’s son drove his vehicle directly into a neighbor’s house.  Since the SUV was damaged beyond repair, Tripp contacted the insurance company seeking a settlement.

The claims adjuster informed Tripp that there was nothing he could do as the accident was clearly his son’s fault.

Tripp defended his son saying, “No ma’am, you don’t understand.  It was actually the house that hit my son’s car.”